|yesterday went to celebrate the return of d debaters from iiu..i don't noe y i'm there..played kompang for them..there's a little bit of prize presentation 4 d debaters n teachers + alumni who coached them...the trophies were nicely arranged on a table and shining brightly(maybe)..phewh..then there was recitation of doa by sumbdy..sorry tht i dont noe him...juz dont noe y i'm there to celebrate them when i'm the one who is supposed to b celebrated..hehe..|
then they took pictures together..after tht they were invited to eat at the canteen..
it really hurts to see them getting all tht..recieving prizes,tooking pics 2gether,the trophies on the table,even the check replica really hurts..hahaha..
on mouth i said i should b there..pointing at those who were taking their prizes..but deep in my heart it says tht next year i'm going 2 b better than them...not only winning the trophies but also recieving d best debater award..insyaAllah..
cant deny tht it hurts,but i hve to be happy for what they hve achieved for i was part from them..
*2 kak Amnah n Tasnim..remember who waved at u b4 u went to iiu..tht's y both of u r in d finals!!haha..joking..
imagine schooling 4 7 days a week!!imagine goin back every day at 6.30 except 4 sat n sun at 5!!attending school when everybody is sleeping soundly at home!!i came almost every session so tht i could achieve wat i want...i'v imagine being there..i push myself 2 b confident,to b a better person..i'v targeted to b in d top 50 debaters..to b in d semi...i spent hours on my research..i spent hours to read d papers..i spent days sleeping at school to improve myself..nvr mind if i'm tired..even if i'm made a fool or i'm tortured its still ok!!
most of all d sacrifice tht my parents did was so..so...so.. huge tht i couldn't bare to b respnsible 4 it...
but all d sacrifices,hope n dream is now broken into pieces!!after all d hardtimes i went through,i saw my hope was so near..but now its sooo far from me..attending it every day,absent for less than 4 times..juz tht once tht i didn't come,i've been vanished..
it's not bout how much me or my parents have sacrificed..not bout there's still other tournaments coming up..but i'm juz 'terkilan' tht i wasn't given d chance to at least tell them wat i have...i'm not tht good..but its lyk u'r killing my spirits,my mood,my eagerness!!by doin tht...it's hard to pretend infront of the others...
i hope tht theres a super glue tht can join all the broken pieces back 2gether...n i believe tht no matter what i have to fight till d end coz i 100% beleive Allah will give rewards to those who work hard..insyaAllah..
then recess till 2.30..came in at 2.30 but theres only a few of them..again they were late..wateva their reasons r.. so juz sit outside d class...at 3 they gave us a motion..i'm relieved tht it is a quite